


Dust to Dust

by MochaTears



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Except Klaus doesn't die properly, Gen, Pre-Canon, The Apocalypse, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-02-28 21:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18764695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MochaTears/pseuds/MochaTears
Summary: It's the apocalypse, and God still doesn't want him. Klaus wakes up.





	1. 1

Klaus wakes up with wind on his face and dust in his eyes. He coughs, shuddering at the taste of it coating the top of his mouth.

"Ben?" Is the first thing out of his mouth, a whisper-yell, because he has no idea where he is, or how loud he can be. There's no answer, so he makes the decision to push himself into a sitting position. It's harder than he'd hoped, because he's lying on his stomach and covered in rubble and he can't feel his feet.

He's way too sober for this.

He rests his head back on the uncomfortable debris below him - he's had worse in his life - and tries to remember. He presumes he's died and it hasn't stuck, once again, considering the carnage he's lying in. And the deathly silence that surrounds him.

Before that, though... Before that...

He's interrupted by the sound of movement. It's not loud yet - not close - but it's such a jarring contrast to the near complete silence, barely broken by wind, of before. He closes his eyes and listens closely.

It sounds like the turning of wheels, and footsteps, and gravel beneath carefully quiet treading. The sound stops, sudden, and then just as fast, starts up again. Closer, comes a shuffling hurried gait. Whoever it is keeps stopping and starting, but finally - and they sound close to Klaus now, too close - the person starts running. And they're next to Klaus, grabbing his arm.

"No-." The voice is choked, and _familiar_.

Klaus turns his head, shock outweighing his previous plan to play dead until the person went away. There in front of him, is Five. Very young, and very scared.

They stare at each other.

Five lets out a helpless sob, and Klaus says, "Five?"

Five drops Klaus' arm, and then seems to regret it, and picks it back up.

"Klaus?" He asks, carefully, quietly. Klaus nods. Five lets out another quiet sob. "Klaus, I don't want to be here."

Klaus is unused to seeing Five like this; emotional - he's unused to seeing Five at all, considering he very much hasn't since his brother had disappeared, but that's not important.

"Where _is_ here?" Klaus asks, a slightly hysterical giggle following his words. He can't hold it in, although he regrets it at the twist in his brother's expression. It's just that even with Five speaking, it's so fucking quiet, and Klaus hasn't had silence for as long as he can remember, even with the drugs.

Five shakes his head, squeezing Klaus' arm harder, "I don't _know_!" More tears leak from his eyes, and Klaus manoeuvres his arm so that Five's hand is wrapped in his own, rather than desperately clutching at his wrist. "There's no one else alive. I don't- I want to go home."

Klaus almost laughs. He doesn't, this time. And he doesn't think about how long he's just wanted to go home. Instead, he lets out a groan.

"Lil' bro, I'm really uncomfortable, do you think you could help me out?" Five blinks, and then nods and lets out an awkward apology. Klaus waves it off as the kid begins pushing rubble away from Klaus. It's a slow process. Five is thirteen, and he isn't Luther. He's shaky and exhausted from consecutive jumps, and walking, and just the stress of his day. Klaus understands.

He still can't feel his feet properly, as he's finally free to push himself up and into a kneeling position, stretching and yawning.

"Damn, dying really doesn't leave you well rested!" He complains, slumping in on himself with a groan.

"Die- you died?" Five asks quietly, and Klaus turns to look at him. He looks defeated, and Klaus cringes a little bit.

"Yeah, I- uh... I do that sometimes." He feels guilty, for some reason - he shouldn't have mentioned it, "It's never really... Stuck. Mostly just 'cause I'm too awesome for Heaven _or_ Hell!" He shrugs, shuffling himself around so that he's facing the thirteen year old.

Five's looking at him with wide eyes, and Klaus is all of a sudden very emotional. To the surprise of the smaller Hargreeves, Klaus launches himself forward and wraps around Five like an overgrown koala. He sniffles, burying his face in Five's hair and mumbling, "Knew you weren't dead." Over and over, like a broken record.

He had known, too. He remembers trying to summon Five every night before bed, for two years. Five had never come. Ben had come before Klaus even knew he was missing. Klaus sobs a bit.

"I-it's okay. It's going to be okay." Five tells him shakily.

They both know that it's not.


	2. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two brothers struggle with change.

They both sit in a ruined library in silence. Five isn't ashamed to be huddled up to his brother of his own free will, although he'd probably deny it on principle were there anyone else around. Klaus' fingers tap against the armrest of the chair, and Five tries not to be distracted from his book by Klaus' anxiety.

He fails, "Klaus, what's wrong?" He mumbles, looking up from the thick volume in his hands.

Klaus' fingers still, and he meets Five's gaze for a moment, before dropping to stare at his hand. "I thought it would be a relief, you know, but I don't- it's too..." He pauses at the nonplussed look on Five's face, and backtracks, "The ghosts. I always wanted them gone, obviously. They shouted all the time. A-annoying. But. They're gone now..." He trails off again frowning.

"And?" Five prompts, trying not to sound petulant.

"It's just... The quiet." Klaus blurts, and then sighs and pretends to be interested in Five's book. He looks ashamed, and Five can't figure out why. "I'm just- I'm not used to it. It's too quiet." Five blinks. He opens his mouth, and then closes it. He has no idea how to relate to that. And Klaus looks like he wants to say something else, but doesn't think he should. It's the same look he had earlier, just after he'd said he died. Five tries not to shudder remembering that revelation. It wasn't as surprising as it should be, he thinks. That Klaus died. More than once.

"There's got to be some sort of working music-playing device somewhere around here." Five claims, after a few moments of tense silence, trying to distract himself from the start of a spiral. "We'll find it, and then you can listen to that." Klaus shoots him a grateful look, and Five feels proud of himself.

"So the ghosts are gone?" He asks, only a few minutes after they'd settled into silence once more. Five asks both to satisfy his own curiosity, and keep Klaus from the discomfort of silence.

Klaus nods, glancing around as if he thinks that by admitting it, they'll be back to yelling at him. Five looks down at his book again, for a second, "My powers aren't working either." He mumbles, and when he turns back to Klaus, his brother doesn't look surprised.

"I figured you probably wouldn't be sticking around in an apocalyptic wasteland with only your most annoying brother for company, if you had the choice." Klaus says with a forced grin. He's trying to make light of the situation, but Five isn't sure he believes that Klaus isn't telling the truth.

"I wouldn't want to leave you here alone." He says, and it comes out more petulant than he meant it to. It's annoying, but Klaus seems to find it amusing, because his smile looks a bit more genuine again.

"What's your book about?" He asks. Five looks down, shrugging. He isn't actually sure - he's been reading the first line of the chapter he turned to at random for something like eight minutes now. "What will we do about food...?" Klaus asks, apparently more to himself than to Five. Five's a bit miffed at how fast his brother's switching between topics.

So much has changed about Klaus, from the thirteen year old brother he'd left behind not even a day ago, to the thirty year old he's huddled up to now. It's probably a big shock for Klaus too, though, considering he hasn't seen Five in seventeen years, and yet he's not changed at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had another thought for this AU, so here you go! ^^ it's shorter than the first part though, sorry..
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five finds a book.

Klaus is asleep, curled up in a corner, when Five finds it. Tucked away under P in the nonfiction section; as if no one had cared enough to keep it in the right place. If his brother had been awake, Five thinks he probably would be telling him not to read it. It's Vanya's book, though. Of course he's going to read it. Even though 'After Five disappeared, Klaus tried to conjure him a lot. Or at least he said he did. At some point, he stopped trying. He started drowning himself in drugs instead.' makes him want to cry again when he looks over at Klaus' sleeping form. There's a pinched expression on his face. The chapter on Ben talks about his death. He closes the book.

He places the book on a table near by and sits down next to Klaus. His brother stirs, and he's worried for a second, but doesn't wake. Five sits in the quiet and thinks.

It makes sense that Klaus wouldn't want to mention Ben's death. All their siblings were dead anyway, so why bring it up. But still... He turns his head to look at his brother. He's seventeen years older than the Klaus Five remembers. How many of those long years has he spent a blur below the surface of some boundless, addicting ocean, Five wonders. Choking in salty water as if it could keep him alive.

Five always felt the need to protect his siblings. Even Luther, although One never let his weaknesses show in front of Five like the others might. The Klaus who would sometimes walk into his room late at night, when they were both supposed to be sleeping, and ask meekly for Five to read whichever book was in his hands at the time aloud, is gone. Replaced by a jittery adult with a haunted look in his eyes. Not that he'd never had that same look back then; but now it's a backdrop to all of the expressions he's seen on this older Klaus' face. He's desperately trying to hold onto the most recent memory he has of his brother, smiling at him without that look in his eyes. He'd only arrived in this horror yesterday, but it already feels like he's staring at a stained glass window rather than real memories. Maybe _this_ is the effects of time travel that his father talks- talked about.

He's not sure how long he's spent in his head, but when he glances over at Klaus again his brother is awake and staring distantly at the book on the table above them.

"Did you-?" Five chokes back the end of the sentence, feeling slightly unwell when that vague, detached expression is turned on him. Like Klaus is looking at something that isn't there. It's far worse than the glaring at empty air around him he usually did. _Used to do_. Then, Klaus breathes out. He breathes out the cloud of that cool gaze, too, and he's looking at Five in concern. Five almost doesn't finish his question. Almost. For some reason, he feels like he has to know.

"Did you see him? After he... After..." He can't finish, but hopes Klaus understands all the same. He seems to. Five's brother remains disquietingly silent for some time, before finally taking a breath.

"Yeah." He replies, sounding like he's forcing it out. "Yeah. I... Miss him. He was there for ten years, and I miss him."

Five takes a moment, and then replies in a small voice, "Me too." Klaus turns too look at him with wide eyes. Then, Five's being drawn into his brother's side, Klaus' bony chin atop his head. He doesn't complain. He wraps both arms around his only family left. Klaus is alive, and here. Ben, and everyone else may be dead, but Klaus and Five are right here. They can get through this.

"I'm sorry I didn't mention it. Didn't know how." Klaus says into his hair. Five holds on tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another one. That's the end of my big plot bunnies for this one, but I plan to keep updating this. It's pretty at random though, sorry for how weird and inconsistent I am... I'm not used to fics with more than one chapter...
> 
> Someone said that Klaus and Five both deserve a hug, and I agree obviously, so more hugs! Also, Klaus used to ask Five to read to him and Five liked to, even though he never admitted it. That's my favourite headcanon or whatever.
> 
> Anyway, uh.. I figure I'll put my Tumblr [ here](https://mochatears.tumblr.com)? If you want that, since I haven't yet;;;
> 
> Thanks for reading once again!


	4. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they mourn the dead.

  
Vanya's book is clutched in Five's hands, shaking slightly along with them. Klaus thinks they should probably get a bag if they're going to be carrying stuff around.

They've just finished burying three bodies. Klaus had tried to do most of the work, although he was shaking at least as badly as Five was from equal parts grief and withdrawals, because he wanted to protect Five.

He wants to protect Five. He eyes the book trapped in his brother's grip. Five hasn't asked what happened yet, and although it's been years since Klaus had last seen him, this still feels out of character. He can imagine the exact conversation they'll have when Five is finally ready to ask about it. He'll get angry that Klaus hasn't said anything.

He doesn't even completely know for himself, really. Between the drugs in his system at the time, and the confusion of it all. And the dying. That doesn't change that he knows who caused it, though. Her body isn't here to bury, either, and he wonders why. Maybe she was completely consumed by the sheer force that apocalyptic power that had been concealed from her for so long contained. He shivers. It reminds him of Ben, holding back the monsters on purpose until they ripped him to shreds. He supposes she probably hadn't even known she was holding anything back, and she'd ended up ripping the world to shreds.

He knows fuck all about her recent life, about any of their recent lives. Hell, he barely remembers anything about his _own_ life.

He fumbles for the permanent marker he'd grabbed from the library before they left, and starts picking up a few bits of rubble, making makeshift headstones for their siblings. Five doesn't protest, and Klaus hopes that means he's doing something right. After he's done, he steps back to look at his handiwork.

It's not right, though. He picks up another two rocks, and scribbles on them too. Ben and Vanya go next to each other.

Klaus looks back at Five for approval. The boy blinks, "Your handwriting's a complete mess." He complains, with a watery smile, tears trickling down his cheeks.

"Rude." Klaus replies, pocketing the marker and pouting at his brother. He returns to his spot next to Five, and they stand together in silence for an indeterminate amount of time, pressed shoulder to shoulder.

At some point, Five's stomach rumbles and Klaus remembers that he's hungry. Cold, too, he notices. They've napped. Five had wanted to bury their siblings straight away. Klaus had refused, because Five looked absolutely exhausted. It made sense considering how much he'd overused his powers to get there. He'd dragged Five to the nearby library instead. The second floor was completely gone, but the first floor still had some structural integrity, although most of the ceiling was on the floor. He's not used to trying to be responsible. That's usually Ben's job. The thought of Ben kicks him right out of his thoughts. Right, food. Water too. He's parched, and he can't imagine his brother is doing any better.

He nudges his brother and the boy turns to look at him, "C'mon Fivey," he says, and Five frowns halfheartedly. "We need to eat. Probably we both should have a while ago." He's _really_ not used to trying to be responsible. God, he needs a drink, at least.

Five nods, managing to let go of Vanya's book to take hold of Klaus' hand unprompted. Five's being a whole lot more tactile than Klaus remembers him to be, but he can't deny that he appreciates being able to touch his brother. Even with the rest of the ghosts seemingly gone, he can't stop his brain continuously questioning if it isn't just Five, dead, finally showing up like the rest of the ghosts had. Like Ben had. But he could never touch Ben though. Looking at Five, who can't seem to keep from continuously glancing back at the graves they've made as they walk away, Klaus thinks the contact is probably something they both need. Just to make sure they're not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I add basically nothing to this and definitely butcher canon because I don't remember it well enough! I have a bunch of small things I wanna add, but I'm not sure how fast y'all are okay with me going I guess? I wanna do bits from Commission days and also the main bit of canon?? Sorry I'm rambling! Thanks for reading!


	5. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five asks Klaus for some exposition.

It's over a dinner of cold baked beans and bread a week since he arrived in the apocalypse that Five finally asks. He's been dreading the answer since the thought first entered his brain. He gets the feeling Klaus has been waiting for him to ask, to be ready to hear the answer. Five isn't sure that he's ready, but he asks anyway.

"We probably could have started a fire to warm these up, y'know?" Klaus says offhandedly.

"What happened?" Asks Five, and then gestures around them because he's not sure if his question was clear enough.

Klaus blinks, "Oh." He says, and coughs. He eats another mouthful of beans, and then speaks again, "Are you sure-?"

"Yes." Five interrupts. It's a lie.

Klaus nods anyway, and puts his half empty can down with a sigh. "Listen, I was high for most of it. I'm not... I can't promise I have everything right. I've only got the bare bones of it, really."

Five nods. Klaus has mentioned it before, but he still doesn't really understand the appeal of drugs. He'd said it helped him, but Five isn't sure with what. "Klaus, please." He says quietly, and Klaus nods. He's silent, apparently debating how best to phrase the answer. He keeps scratching at his arm.

"So... Dad died. A week before everything. The- uh... The apocalypse." Klaus begins. Which is something that surprises Five. Maybe he's just being childish, but he's always thought that Reginald was something inhuman. That he'd never die. "There was a funeral and stuff, and all out siblings were there. We were all assholes to each other, which is- was. Was pretty much the norm. Then we all went our separate ways. I bothered Diego a bit, and Allison was trying to reconnect with everyone, but mainly Vanya. I sold some of dad's stuff for drug money." He frowns, and picks up his can again. Takes a mouthful. Swallows. "Sorry," he says, at length, "I'm just saying unrelated things, but it's a bit easier to list everything I remember than to be choosy."

"It's fine." Says Five, and Klaus gives him a smile that says he's grateful to be listened to.

"Luther was trying to solve a murder case - insisted that Diego..." He chuckled, "Insisted that _someone_ had murdered dad. Nobody agreed. Allison called a meeting about some evidence, and Grace got the blame on the end. Luther switched her off. Didn't stay switched off though, weirdly. Woke up the next day and she was in the kitchen. I had a drink and then left. We all got called back because Pogo wanted to tell us something. Said dad killed himself so we would 'come together as a team' or something fucked like that." Five inhales sharply at that. Because what the hell.

"Right?" Exclaims Klaus, seeming to read his expression, "So we're all like 'what the fuck'. And Luther's disillusioned and shit. Oh! And Vanya's not there. Allison told us why but, uh... I don't think I remember? Anyways, we all go our separate ways again. So, skip ahead a bit, and I get a call from Diego and he's like 'come the fuck to the Icarus Theatre.' And I was already going there, cause Van finally got the first chair, and that's super freaking cool! Go her! But when I get there, she's all glowy and the audience is nowhere to be found! And I'm about to find Diego and ask him what the fuck is happening, when Luther manages to get close enough to Vanya to try and attack her, and some guy jumps out of nowhere in front of her... I think Luther actually got the guys' eye out? Whatever happened, the dude's bleeding, and Vanya seems even madder! And then, uh... The end of the world, I guess." Klaus concludes lamely, with a sigh that communicates a lot more distress than his tone of voice implied.

It was Vanya. Vanya somehow had powers, and she'd destroyed the world. He wanted to be disbelieving, wanted to assure himself that it couldn't be Vanya; not the Vanya he knew! But this wasn't the Vanya he knew. This was an older Vanya. The Vanya who'd lived seventeen years without him. The Vanya who'd written that book full of equal parts shame and spite. The Vanya who'd come all the way into her adulthood with the knowledge that the siblings she had left thought nothing of her, and the only one who had, had still left her and not come back. Five wants to disprove what Klaus is saying, believe in the Vanya he remembers. But he has no doubt that Klaus is telling the truth, and he doesn't know Vanya, not anymore.

"Oh." He says, and stares into his empty can.

"Oh." Klaus repeats listlessly. He sounds like he's about to be scolded.

Five looks up, "Do you... Do you know why?" He asks quietly, and Klaus gives a tired shrug. He'd seemed so upbeat when dinner began, but now he seems entirely listless. It worries Five how easily Klaus seems to jump between emotions. He's not sure how much of it is real, and how much is a carefully constructed mask; shaped for his survival in the years where his emotions were only a detriment to his safety. That'd been the case even when Five was still with the family, he can only imagine how much worse it got when Klaus was on the streets.

"I don't know." Admits Klaus, "Maybe some sort of build up in power after her - er - _powers_ appeared really suddenly after such a long time? I don't even know how _that_ happened." He rests his face on one hand, curling in on himself a little.

Five frowns thoughtfully, but he comes up with nothing. He sits back to ruminate on the new information, as Klaus unsubtly moves his chair around to sit closer to Five. Five's always been good at distancing himself from his emotions in order to view things logically. It's something their father often commended him on.

"You should have told me earlier." Five tells him, although there's obviously no seriousness in the words.

"I knew you'd say that." Says Klaus, a brittle grin finding its way onto his face.

"Eat your beans." Five says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An alternate summary for this chapter would be: am I going to regret deciding what Klaus knows about the apocalypse this early on, should I decide to also post a sequel in which they both try to stop the apocalypse.
> 
> A sequel who's first chapter may or may not already be completed. I dunno.
> 
> I've been writing this fanfic very very out of order. The document I've got it in is a singular document and a complete mess.
> 
> This is a longer chapter, and I hope y'all like it even though I don't! Oh! Housekeeping, I guess? Yeah I changed the title slightly, and the chapters have titles now too!
> 
> You may or may not have noticed that I haven't portrayed much when it comes to withdrawals and Klaus. This is because he's probably still drinking, and also because I know nothing about drugs or withdrawals and I'm terrified of fucking up! Oopsie! I'm sorry my A/Ns are so long..


	6. 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five gets sick.

Klaus wakes up to a groan. It's from Five, obviously. He can relate. His head is killing him today.

"Klaus, I don't feel well," Five whines, after a minute of silence. Klaus' eyebrows lift at his brother’s petulant tone, his head spinning to face Five as he pushes himself to a sitting position.

"Yeah, you look like shit," is what comes out of his mouth. Five turns his head from where it's buried under his arms, to glare at him. Klaus smiles innocently. He's genuinely concerned, though. It's his little brother after all, and he's not seen a drug store in a while. He's not really been looking, admittedly.

"I'm just..." Five yawns, "I'm gonna go back to sleep..." He curls up tighter, shivering. Klaus drapes his own blanket over his brother.

"Five? 'S it a cold, do ya think?" Klaus asks, and when Five groans but doesn't answer, "Please tell me what's wrong, I'm worried."

Five sighs, "yeah, it's probably a cold. I don't know. I have a fever, I think. Sore throat. Feels like a cold."

“Why the fuck are you getting a cold at this time of the year?” Klaus complains. Five turns to glare at him, and Klaus nods, "right. Okay. You get some rest, I'm gonna go look for a drug store or something." Five settles, not responding, and Klaus gets up to start his quest.

In the end, it's not hard to find what he's looking for. There's one only few blocks down. It's a relief, but he stands there just looking at the entrance for a while. Prescription stuff is really the only sort he could easily obtain, now. He's thought about it, too.

He shivers, and decides he should probably stay a bit away from Five while he’s sick. He’d rather not get anything himself, and doesn’t think testing his shitty immune system is a great idea.

Inside, the different areas of the store are labeled, making his task easier. He feels like he’s being a bit dramatic as he forces himself to focus on the section labelled cold and flu medication. When’s he not been over dramatic, though.

After hurriedly grabbing cold medicine from a few different brands, he sets off back to his brother equally hurriedly.

When he ducks back into the basement they’re currently sleeping in, he finds Five still unconscious. Letting the teen sleep, Klaus quietly rummages through their supplies in search of soup. The first can he finds is plain tomato, which he grabs along with a can opener and leaves the basement.

They’d practised caution for the first few weeks, but it had grown irritating eating cold food and they’d thrown it to the wind. Or, into a small fire. Occasionally, they found a gas oven they could light with a match, but usually they had to make the fire themselves. The house they’re in doesn’t have a kitchen anymore, regardless, so Klaus starts a fire with paper and what looks to be chair legs. He watches smoke dance into the afternoon sky dazedly, before recalling the task at hand.

Sitting next to the fire, with a stick stabbed through the top of the can to keep it aloft, Klaus has all too much time and silence to think. He’s been feeling almost grateful for the lack of powers, for the silence. He hates himself for it, too, because it means Five can never leave. It means Klaus will never see Ben again. He’s gotten used to Ben being the ‘adult’ in any given situation, he can admit it. He misses that too.

He feels like there’s been an exchange: Five for Ben, and he never would have been able to choose so the universe did it for him.

“Klaus? What’re you doing?” he turns, and Five’s behind him at the top of the stairs. The teen lets out a string of coughs, followed by a similar length of curses, and Klaus has to smile. He’s been brought out of his thoughts now, probably for the best.

“Soup,” Klaus says, “and then after you’ve eaten, I found some stuff for the cold.” Five frowns at the can, and then at his brother.

“Have  _ you _ eaten anything today?” he questions, closing the distance between the two of them.

Klaus shrugs, looking away, “no, but it’s fine. I’ll eat when I’m hungry, you know that.”

Five makes a noise of disapproval, shaking his head, “I’m going to get you something to eat.” He wanders back downstairs, not giving Klaus the chance to decline.

Hunched over a tin of spaghettios and a glass of cider seven minutes later, Klaus admits that he is a bit hungry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m SO sorry for not updating ;;;;; I have no excuses..  
> I’ve been writing very out of order so I’m not actually sure what comes after this one, but that doesn’t matter in this case because I’ve been like three paragraphs away from finishing this chapter for ages idk what I was doing.  
> I hope y’all haven’t lost interest in my fic since I last posted haha...


	7. 97

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation.

"I'm glad our powers don't work here." Klaus says one day, out of the blue, and Five turns to look at him. It's been roughly three months, and they've exhausted a majority of the edible food in the surrounding area, so they're moving again. They're taking turns pulling the kiddie wagon with their meagre belongings in it. Klaus is on wagon duty right now.

"What?" Asks Five, and his voice comes out a little more accusatory than he means it. Klaus blanches at his tone and folds in on himself a bit. Five cringes as well, and opens his mouth to apologise, but Klaus is already rushing to explain himself.

"I-I mean, I know I shouldn't be! I do! I really, really want for you to be able to go back home! And I desperately miss Ben! Although... Not so much the rest of them." He sighs, "But... But they're not why I'm glad. Not really."

Five tilts his head to one side, considering Klaus, "Why then?" He prompts. Klaus looks at him, like he's not sure it's something he should talk about with a kid. Five's never been coddled in his thirteen years of existence more than he has by Klaus in the months they've spent together in the apocalypse. He gets it, though. Klaus' entire life, he's been treated as the younger, more vulnerable, weaker sibling. Aside from Vanya. Five knows that's how he saw Klaus, and from what he's said, even Ben treated him like that, although only because he wanted Klaus to listen to him. He's not used to being around someone actually younger than him. Let alone someone younger whom he feels an obligation to protect as the older sibling. Five gets it, yeah, but it's still fucking annoying sometimes. (Other times it's nice. Five likes the physical affection that he doesn't have to initiate, despite all his complaining.) "Klaus." He says firmly. Klaus nods.

"It's just-" Klaus cuts himself off, and Five reaches out and grabs his sleeve. It's the closest the thirteen year old gets to initiating physical contact now that he's out of the completely terrified phase of arriving in the apocalypse. It's fine, though, because Klaus understands. "I've been thinking about Vanya and Benny again." Klaus admits, looking down to kick a bit of rubble and avoid looking at Five.

Five frowns. They've talked about their siblings before, and he could tell before that Klaus has some thoughts on Vanya and Ben specifically that he hadn't been ready to share. Five had advised he not think about it too hard if it's upsetting him. He doesn't know if that's even good advice, but he's really not good at that sort of thing. He nods, but Klaus is still looking down so he tacks on a hum of acknowledgement. Klaus kicks the rubble he’s pretending to be distracted by too hard, and it spins away from him. Klaus flinches. He’s still not looking at Five.

"I've been thinking... Well, when Ben died, there wasn't a body. He'd been suppressing his powers so much, so often, that they just, sorta, e-exploded. Or imploded... No, both. Like, he was there, and dad was telling him to do as he was told, and Luther was telling him to hurry up because it would be dinner time soon and we'd all have to wait if Ben didn't do what he was told. And then... He just turned to me, and there was this horrible tearing sound. Like the sound of fabric ripping, distorted till it was almost unrecognisable. And then he was nothing except a spattering of blood on the grass." Klaus shudders. Five grips onto his sleeve tighter. 

"There was no body, Five! And I saw... W-we didn't find Vanya's body, either! And maybe... Maybe we just didn't look hard enough, and she was under some rubble, somewhere! But! But! What if she really did just disappear, like B-Ben! I mean, she was holding in her powers fucking hard, right! Dunno if it was a thing she was doing on purpose - I mean, probably not! She didn't even know! But, still! What if she held in her powers so hard that when they released she couldn't control herself! The same as Ben! What if...! What if...

"I-I've been on one drug or another since, like, just after you left, Five. They... They helped with the ghosties. I could never see them when I was high, or whatever else. Except Ben. I've been pushing down, numbing my powers my whole life too. A-and what if my powers worked here, and I ran out of drugs? I don't wanna die, and leave you alone, or hurt you!"

Klaus seems to be done after that, gaze dropping to the ground and mouth slamming shut with a click. Five has no idea how to respond to that. He’s never understood Klaus’ distaste for his powers, because Five loves his. Five stares at his own hand, still clutching Klaus’ sleeve. When Five’s powers got him into dangerous situations it was user error and nothing more. They’ve stopped walking, and he can feel Klaus’ gaze on him now.

Klaus begins scratching at the arm Five isn’t holding onto, but Five pulls his hand away and finally slots his hand into Klaus’ larger one. Klaus takes a surprised breath when Five squeezes his hand, before returning the gesture.

Five shakes his head, after a minute, and looks up to meet Klaus’ gaze. “If your powers worked here, then you’d learn how to use them. We’d do it together. Dad was shit teacher for you, so what. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn,” he tells his brother confidently. And he is. Confident. Maybe it’s his ego talking, but he thinks that he’d do better helping his brother than their father ever did. Although what their father did was hardly  _ helping  _ Klaus, anyway.

He can tell in his eyes that Klaus’ fears aren’t totally dissuaded. He’s probably going to be up at night thinking about worst case scenarios that are completely implausible. But Five can also tell he’s grateful for the assurance, so maybe he’s done something after all.

“I think it’s about your turn for wagon duty,” Klaus says with a grin, mood switching without warning. The change throws Five off a bit, and he can tell it’s largely out on. But when he gives Klaus a concerned look, his brother just squeezes his hand again, and gives him a sincere smile.

“It’s not,” Five replies, but he takes the handle of the wagon anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m getting worse at this rip


	8. 183

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday to the remaining Hargreeves!

"Happy birthday to us!" Klaus sings, and Five groans from where he'd been asleep until just a moment ago.

"What the hell, Klaus?" He grumbles, refusing to open his eyes. Klaus grins and sits back from, previously kneeling with his face right beside Five's.

"It's time to wake up and face the world, Fivey! I found us cake!" He adds proudly, brandishing a box of stale, store brand cupcakes.

Five regards him with slitted eyes, "Those are certainly out of date. By a long shot." He informs his brother, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and finally sitting up, "And it's not our birthday."

Klaus pouts, "It's the thought that counts lil' bro! And it is our birthday!" He holds out the calendar that Five's apparently entirely forgotten they've brought with them. "I've marked every day! It's October first; happy birthday!" He repeats.

Five relents, "Happy birthday, Klaus." He says, "Alright then. Hand me a shitty cupcake." Klaus grins, and they both dig into their extremely dry cupcakes.

"These taste terrible." Klaus says offhandedly, licking icing off his fingers. This is made by himself, at least, and isn't disgusting. Just the sort made with water and icing sugar.

"Not a hard prediction to make, but I'm sure I don't have to say I told you so." Five replies, and Klaus sticks his tongue out at him childishly. Five does it right back, and Klaus gasps in offence.

Klaus has also warmed some baked beans for breakfast. Five’s a growing boy after all, so he really needs to be getting enough to eat. Even if Klaus doesn’t really have an appetite for half of the time. Making sure Five’s eating is a good way to make sure he’s eating himself - he’s sure he’d forget if he were alone here. His brother’s probably noticed that he gives Five more of whatever’s been made than he eats himself, although Five hasn’t said anything.

“So where’s my birthday present?” Five asks, eyes not lifting from his plate. Klaus frowns.

“We’ve, like, never had presents before. Ever.”

“Why not start now?” Five shrugs, ducking away when Klaus swats at him.

“Well where’s  _ my  _ present then, mr double standards!” Klaus folds his arms, pouting.

Five has the audacity to say, “I’m the kid here, you’re a full grown adult,” like that means Klaus shouldn’t be allowed presents. And also like Five doesn’t do everything possible to act like he’s more of an adult than Klaus at any given moment.

Five puts his plate down, finished, and Klaus grins. “Okay, I have a present for you,” he says, and Five turns to look at him. A look of suspicion grows as he sees the look on Klaus’ face. Klaus lunges at his brother, who tries to get away. He fails, and Klaus wraps the teen up in a hug. “It’s my love, Five. You’re my favourite brother, I love you!”

Five groans, but gives up squirming after only a few moments. “You’re the absolute worst.”

“I know!”

Five sighs dramatically, and then reciprocates Klaus’ affection. “You’re my favourite too,” he mumbles, hiding his face in Klaus’ chest, presumably to conceal his embarrassment.

It’s strange that the first time a Hargreeves birthday celebration has really, honestly, felt like a birthday to Klaus, is post-apocalypse, with his long lost little brother and a box of stale cupcakes. The only time they’d gotten presents was the year that Ol’ Reggie permitted Grace to suggest names to them all. Five hadn’t accepted that gift, anyway. Klaus frowns at that thought, and wishes he’d tried to find Five a proper present. He will next year.

In the first year of the apocalypse, Klaus has his best birthday in a long time, and he just wishes Ben could be there for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short chapter... I’ve been trying to write them longer, but I think this one works nicely as is.  
> I started this originally for their birthday, but didn’t finish until recently. It goes here though, so I hope you guys like it even though it’s late ^^


	9. 335

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions on death, and life.

“What was it like being dead?”

Klaus almost doesn’t register the question. He’s trying to read, lying on the floor and willing himself to get through more than a sentence a minute. Five’d encouraged him to start reading for entertainment sometimes, and it's not that he doesn’t enjoy the book he’s reading, but he always has trouble concentrating.

 

_What was it like being dead?_

 

Five tends to steer clear of topics that might make Klaus uncomfortable, and Klaus grants him the same courtesy. The teen has probably been itching to ask him about this for a while now, though, since he got over learning about his brother’s resurrection in the first place. Although, maybe ‘got over’ is a bit of a strong way to put it. Klaus is pretty sure Five still sometimes worries that Klaus isn’t real, and he’s just imagining him for company. He can’t say he doesn’t occasionally feel the same.

 

_What was it like being dead?_

 

The question finally settles, and Klaus can feel himself freezing up a bit, arms locking where they are. He forces himself to relax, and his book thumps onto his chest as he loosens his grip on it.

“Uh,” he says eloquently, and hears Five shift.

“Sorry, forget I asked.”

Klaus breathes in, and then lets it out, and then repeats the motion a few more times just to be safe. Then, he pushes his book off his chest and sits up, turning to look at his brother. The kid is staring hard at his own book, and looking annoyed with himself.

“No, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it,” Klaus lies. He draws his knees into his chest as Five turns to look at him. “I’ve died a lot, though, which time do you want to know about?”

Five shrugs, and looks away again. There’s an expression on his face that Klaus can’t read. Part anger and upset. It’s not a look he’s seen on Five before. Klaus thinks ‘which one’ maybe wasn’t the best response for Five. He knows how much Five hates Klaus coddling him, but there are probably things he shouldn’t be making his fourteen year old brother think about. Five always tries to act like a person triple his age. Which is okay, because Klaus might act like a teen… often. But he’s still a kid, stuck in a place he doesn’t deserve to be, with literally only Klaus for company. He doesn’t need to be thinking about depressing shit like the amount of times Klaus has died on top of everything else.

When the boy doesn’t say anything else, Klaus hums thoughtfully, before speaking, “It’s bleak.”

Five looks up when his brother falls silent, mirroring Klaus’ position. His look of interest is quickly chased away by one of guilt, but Klaus just gives him a small smile.

“I always woke up in the same place. A patch of grass under a tree. It made it easy to tell when it had happened. That, and the cold. I’d always thought that there’d be no temperature after death, but it’s cold. It’s like… it’s like when ghosts would walk through me. Like an old, dusty aircon unit being turned on full, except it's blowing inside you as well as outside? Does that make sense? Usually it’s pretty empty there, and I’m not dead for that long. Usually… that’s about it. But last time… there was this girl. She was young, and she had a bike, and she didn’t like me very much. She said… I think, like, ‘Just because the world’s ended doesn’t mean I suddenly want you here.’” He says, in a high pitched voice, “Pretty sure she’s God.”

“God,” Five repeats, a single skeptical eyebrow raised. Klaus nods.

“Yeah! Or, like, Death. But she was saying shit like she created everything. And I was like ‘if you made me, why the hell am I so fucked up?’ and she was like ‘you were an accident’. Or something.”

“She sounds like a pleasant individual.”

Klaus laughs, “I mean, says you. I love you Fivey, but you can be a real asshole sometimes.” Five shrugs in response.

“Said the pot to the kettle.”

Klaus snorts, and the two lapse back into silence. He’s been lying on his side, back to reading, for ten minutes, when Five asks in a small voice, “You won’t… you won’t die again, right? Like, on purpose?”

Klaus cringes. Although Five’s expertly dodged the word ‘suicide’, his question still feels like an accusation. It’s not. He knows it’s not. But Five… Five had been present for one of his first deaths, hadn’t he? Accidental suicide by overdose. He’d claimed it was an accident. Five’d walked in on his brother’s corpse and had to act calm and collected as he went to tell mom. That was how Klaus assumes it went, anyway. He obviously wasn’t there. He just remembers waking up to mom resuscitating him, and Five looking more worried than Klaus had ever seen him. It’s been almost a year in the apocalypse now, but that memory is still far fresher for Five than it is for Klaus. It happened only a few months before he disappeared.

Klaus sets his book on the ground and rolls onto his stomach to look up at Five seriously, “Five,” he begins, holding his brother’s gaze, “the idea of leaving you here, alone, to deal with this shit by yourself? Even for a short amount of time, cause I get resurrected again? I-.” He stops talking, voice tight. He hasn’t even considered it. He thinks he’d be disgusted with himself if he ever did. He tells Five so, and his little brother nods, breaking eye contact to look down at his book again. It’s okay though. Being in the literal post-apocalypse hasn’t done much for Five’s emotionally stunted self. It hasn’t helped Klaus with his inability to share his real emotions either. The fact that he’s actively ignoring this is proof enough of that.

After a few heavy beats of silence, Five says, “I… you know, if I had my powers, and I could leave… I-I still wouldn’t. You know that, right? Not without you. I wouldn’t leave you alone here either.”

Klaus makes a face. If Five had his powers, Klaus would _not_ want to be the one holding him back from leaving this hell world. Still, though, it’s nice to know Five cares about him enough that he would suffer through this even if he didn’t have to.

“Running around after the apocalypse is the first time I’ve felt welcomed by the land of the living since, like, Ben dying. Isn’t that weird to think about, huh?” he chirps lightly, hoping to defuse the emotionally charged air around them both. It works, the tension in the room shattering all at once as Five rolls his eyes, a small smile on his lips.

“Finish your chapter, moron.” He says, waving his hand vaguely in the direction of Klaus’ discarded book. Klaus picks his book back up agreeably, returning to reading very slowly.

 

Five finishes his book that evening, and teases Klaus about still being only two thirds done, after a week and a half on the book. Then, he goes to figure out dinner while Klaus keeps reading.

Death has permeated Klaus’ entire life, from the moment he saw his first ghost at 4, up until he died trying to stop an actual apocalypse. Really, the scape of ruin and rubble that Five and Klaus exist in now should feel equally overwhelmingly full of death. It doesn’t, though. At least, not nearly as much as it should. Not with Five around to keep him company. Klaus feels the most connected to life, and reality, he has in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for still reading! Love you guys!
> 
> I wanted to get this chapter up before I left on holiday. I hope you guys like it <3
> 
> I feel like this entire story is just,, two emotionally stunted boys having emotionally stunted conversations... lol

**Author's Note:**

> I sorta have plans to continue this, but I'm not 100% sure yet, so I'm marking it as complete. If more is something you'd want, lemme know I guess?
> 
> Also, I'm really bad at staying in present tense for some reason, so if you see a tense switch please tell me!


End file.
